Transforming, growing, adapting, changing have awakened me. I’ve noticed that my cocoon has disappeared. Like a butterfly with its beautiful wings taking flight so have I. In the past I stayed in my cave hibernating although it was hot outside. I could hear children in their pools laughing, playing “Marco Polo” and hearing the huge splash from belly flops.
My hibernation is over. I am allowing myself to live again, make a difference in the world. I needed to find a new passion and advocate for a different group. I was engulfed in my career that I forgot who I was. Don’t get me wrong I was extremely successful and loved working with children that had behavior and conduct disorders. I spent from 7:00 am until 7:00 pm in my room developing individual interventions in order to guarantee my kids were successful and they were and still are.
I became the one who needed the intervention. I had to rely on others for the first time in my life. My problem has been that I gave, gave and gave some more I was a giver and felt undeserving of assistance. “There are so many people who need it more than I do” or “I am fortunate that I had a career that I loved while others may have never been able to work” on and on. The excuses could go on for days and they did until I had no choice but to ask and accept help. I still find it difficult at times and that’s ok.
I walk with my head up even though I can’t see and am out in the community. With Hank, my guide dog, by my side I can go anywhere I want. This past weekend we walked the entire mall with another legally blind person. Hank loved it especially the children. We need to work on that some more. His licker starts to take over when kids are around. Next we walked together to a local restaurant by maneuvering through the parking lots around parked cars and a few other businesses.
When we arrived at our target destination the feeling of conquering the world surged through my body. Dee and I high fived each other and our hands actually met. We ordered two raspberry margarita’s. Hank wasn’t allowed since he was my designated driver. Dee and I had a wonderful lunch that was powerful for the both of us. We must do that again and soon.
At home I realized that I no longer needed my cocoon I was free and happy. Now I have a purpose and belong to another group that needs my help. My former kids will always have my heart but they grow up and move on and its my turn to do so. What’s next is exciting and new which I can’t wait to dive in to change more lives including my own.